Meet Ronny

Some things you need to know about Ronny Warthog:

He sings and plays guitar for heavy rock megastars HellFire DoomWolf.
They might be called HellWolf DoomFire. Or FireWolf HellDoom. He can't remember.
They've done endless multi-platinum albums and back-to-back arena tours.
He's now taking some time off to chill out in his Home Counties mansion.
His old lady is Annie. Or Abbie. Or possibly Amy. Or Angie. He can't remember.
It's pronounced 'wah-thog.' Don't get it wrong. He hates that.
He's decided he's a keen gardener. Nobody knows why.
He's making a documentary about gardening. Here are some excerpts.

Ronny on the old lady

"My old lady's planted that orchard over there. She's well into her organic stuff.
"I bought her a little shop a while ago to keep her busy and earn a bit of pin money. What's it called? The Beauty Shop? The Birdy Shop? The Body Shop, that's it. Seems to be going all right, although they keep sending her letters with 'CEO' on them. Fuckwits can't even get her initials right. She went out this morning saying she had to prepare a bid for Boots. Always buying clothes on eBay, that woman.
"Anyway, I'm not supposed to spray the trees with anything. But you can't help it if a bit of blood comes out when you sneeze, though, can you?
"I had a right laugh when she planted them. I said to her 'I hope they grow nice juicy apples. I hate a wrinkly old pear'. That's how I got that scar just under my left eye."